Isn't it funny how your attitude can change from one day to another?
The other day I wrote this overwhelmed and whining post. My life hasn't changed since then. In fact, our van broke down on us again today. It's sitting out on the drive way leaking fluid. It is the grace of God that pushed that vehicle all the way home so that I wasn't broken down on a two lane highway with all three children and no phone.
But somehow it doesn't matter. I know we'll be taken care of. He's never let us drift out in this troubling world alone and He never will. It's never His will when things go wrong. And He never "lets it happen" for any reason. He is a God of love and grace. He isn't a God of hate and anger and bitterness. He never turns His back on His people.
It's we who give in to the bad around us. It's we who don't rely on Him, trust Him and use the authority He has given us on this earth. I know this. I've known this. I've always known it but it's hard to see it when you're in the muck and the mire sometimes.
God is a good God.
And Jesus is my precious Savior – friend – Daddy.
The Holy Spirit is my guide.
I know that while we stand in the midst of crud right now, we will not stand here long. And while we're here… we'll be holding on to Him and His truths.
Oh how I love Him.
Oh yes, how I do.
And how He loves me!
And you.
Filed under Deep by . 6 Comments. 
been behind here a lot today.
i feel comfortable being there.
not always comfortable in front of that…
but behind it, feels good.
snapping pictures of randomness and loveliness and sweetness.
remembering why it is that my eyes always feel better behind the view finder.
life is much grander.
and a whole lot more beautiful.
behind the lens.
i've needed grandness and beauty.
feel good today.
Filed under photography by . 8 Comments.
…warmth, wind, rain, growth, newness, life, renewal…
{it's beginning, friends. oh thank you Jesus, Spring is on its way.}
(pictures from last year)
{i'll be making an important announcement in the coming weeks (possibly days), so stay tuned.}
Filed under Show-Me-State Fun by . 6 Comments.
the newness has yet to wear off.
the newness of being his mommy.
the newness of being mommy to them all.
waking up each morning to their tiny voices.
going to bed each night feeling fulfilled and at peace.
the reality of my 'job' as their mommy still feels new.
the knowledge of my importance in their life… still new.
how much they need me when they're sick, want me when they're well, and love me — fresh and new.
i'm still their super hero but they are the ones that saved me.
i hope it always feels this new and exciting and a little bit scary.
{because}
being this in-love makes me feel complete and so very special.
Filed under Deep, Family, Kids by . 9 Comments.
He spent the day with his Grandparents, Sunday, he and his little brother.
They played at the park, were spoiled at the store, and helped Grandpa build & create.
They both had a lot of fun… always do.
In the middle of his play date the phone rang here. My husband answered, it was my father-in-law… soon after, my husband called out for me, "phone".
It's Nicky…
I gave him a perplexed look and answered the call.
Hello?
Hi Mama.
Hi honey.
Silence.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Silence.
How is your day going, Mama?
Good.
{i smile}
Love you, Mama.
Love you too honey.
Bye.
Bye.
#################
Last night my husband was gone working, so it was me and my lonesome holding down the fort.
After a long day getting lost downtown in route to a specialist appointment, blood work, and traffic on the way back, I just wanted to relax and be alone.
The baby went down easily.
My middle son fell asleep quickly.
Not my oldest, Nicky.
He was awake.
Wide.
The rain scared him.
The dark.
He wandered out to the living room where I was.
We finished watching Jason and Molly's Wedding together.
During the wedding I day dreamed about our vow renewal ceremony and what that would look like for us.
My husband and I have said we'll renew our vows on our 10th year wedding anniversary. It's 2 years away but fun to think about and dream about.
I thought about having my two older boys walk me down the aisle and my baby being the ring boy, or somehow part of the ceremony too.
During the show my boy and I began talking about "mommy and daddy getting married again" and what he'd like to see.
"Me and Zanie would walk you down the aisle and Dash would be with Daddy."
Sometimes I feel we share the same brain.
And always the same heart.
We had a "sleep over party" in the living room that night.
He on a special "bed" of blankets and pillows on the floor, me on the couch.
It was special.
Just like him.
Just like our relationship.
May it always be this sweet.
Filed under Deep, Family, Kids by . 19 Comments.
