I love this woman.
She is my Mom.
She is talented and beautiful and has so much potential.
She is a great artist and chef.
If only she believed these things about herself.
We've been cooking up a lil' business together and are set to announce it soon. She is the talent behind the operation and without her there would be no business. I don't think she believes that some of the time but I'm certain she will soon – very soon.
Look at some of her incredibly tasty creations.
Yes, they do taste as good as they look. Even better, really.
{all gluten free}
I think she should start a local bakery – or even one online.
I think she should sell her artwork.
I think she should scrapbook more, because her books totally rock!
I think she should believe in herself the way she wants me to believe in myself.
Filed under Family by . 17 Comments. 
if life were a race, i've been crawling along at a snails pace.
afraid to be who i'm called to be.
nervous of the bigness.
unsure of it – of me.
the years pass. i age.
time slips from my nervous grasp.
tugging and pulling, my heart is swayed.
i'm ready to listen.
to move.
to be.
for him. because of him.
in spite of myself.
Filed under Deep by . 4 Comments.
It is my greatest wish that I might be able to spare my children from the kind of pain that takes root, buries itself deeply and hangs around for a lifetime.
That I might be able to protect their little hearts and minds and souls from anything terrible or hurtful or painful.
And if not in my power to do such things, I wish for the strength and wisdom to stand with them through their pain and help them work through it, so that it doesn't bury itself so deeply that it can't be dug up and rooted out.
No matter – I'll always be there to support and love them through anything life sends their way.
Always.
Filed under Deep, Fashion, Kids by . 6 Comments.
I visited him today.
His family had been to see him recently, as the grave site was covered in valentine's decor.
The 'Dad' spelled out in pink and red and white flowers tugged on my already fragile emotions.
His face smiles back at me on the beautiful grave stone.
He had an incredible smile. Something I remember from the time I knew him many years ago. The kind of smile that made you smile.
I talked to him. I shared my heart. And my hopes. And my sorrow. And my wishes for what could have been different that night.
I feel a different kind of feeling when I visit him now.
Something in between peace and closure.
I'll always feel deep pain for his death. I'll live with the reality that he is gone because of my brother, forever.
But I'm beginning to heal. I'm starting to feel that he is happy where he is. He forgives my brother. And appreciates my heart for his family and their pain and loss.
I felt slightly comforted visiting him this time.
I feel it's a testimate to who he was is. I remember him as always smiling and happy and light hearted and kind. I'm sure he's all those things and many more now.
And I know that those eyes and that smile will meet me in Heaven one day and none of this will matter anymore.
Until then, I think of him often and pray for his son.
Filed under Deep, raw by . 18 Comments.
Like a big fuzzy bear, waking up from his long winter's slumber, we crawled out of our hibernation to greet the cool splash of sunshine on our faces.
Almost feeling like aliens who had never seen the sun before, we dizzily played on the cool playground equipment, and got reacquainted with its charm.
Our feet stomped the damp ground, our hands clutched the cold slide railing and our noses grew a pink hue.
No matter.
We may have been chilly. It may not have been perfect. The sun might have been colder than we'd ideally like…
…but…We were alive and in the moment and present and breathing in the freshness of a nice February day.
And I was right there along side of these great kids I'm entrusted to raise. Taking their picture, running and playing. Feeling the same cool sun on my face, the same breeze in my hair and the same playground at my feet.
There's something extra special about a winter's day at the playground. Something magical happens when your feet touch the wood chips for the first time in a long while.
Here's to cool sun and damp wood chips.
And to being present and engaged.
Filed under Deep, Family, Kids, Show-Me-State Fun by . 11 Comments.
There's no doubt about it, he is adored.
Adored by his Daddy. His Mama. His brothers. His Grandparents.
Strangers at the store, at the library and anywhere else we go.
From the top of his head, to the tips of his toes he is adored.
And don'tcha know, he knows it!
Filed under Family, Kids by . 6 Comments.
Love is not proud
Love does not boast
Love after all
Matters the most
.
.
Love does not run
Love does not hide
Love does not keep
Locked inside
.
.
Love is the river that flows through
Love never fails you
.
.
Love will sustain
Love will provide
Love will not cease
At the end of time
.
.
Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don’t
.
.
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you
.
.
When my heart won’t make a sound
When I can’t turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this
Greater than this
.
.
Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way
The truth the life
.
.
Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you
######
Lyrics by Brandon Heath – Love Never Fails.
Oh how utterly important I am to the fabric of this family of mine.
So much so, that when I'm sick the whole family is affected. Funny how it took something like this to shine a spotlight on just how needed I am. And how I have a direct part to play in how the family functions, runs, performs.
I've had days where I was so fatigued and weak I could hardly walk from one room to the other without getting winded. I had one good day last week and I took advantage of it by taking my oldest out for donuts. I'm painfully aware of how important it is to cease a good day now.
Still receiving B12 shots and taking a Magnesium supplement, we got more blood work in that shows something suspicious. Because of the results, and the type of blood test, my doctor is sending me out to a rheumatologist for further testing.
In the meantime, I guard my words and my attitude. God created everything by speaking it into existence. Jesus healed people by speaking to their bodies. Words are powerful… they can be a positive force or a negative force. Even when I feel just terrible, I try and chase those thoughts out of my head before they enter my mouth.
Oh and see that little button right there on the side of this page? —->
The one that talks about following my running journey this year? Yeah, I'm keeping it there. It haunts me sometimes, thinking of how excited I was about that goal this year and how now I can hardly walk without becoming exhausted — but I am not giving up on that just yet.
Pushing my body since 2008, when I first began feeling sick, I know what it is capable of. And I know that someone will get to the bottom of things, or these shots will begin melting the pain and fatigue away, and I'll be back to who I was before all of this.
Until then, I'm taking it day by day and appreciating my husband even more than before.
Filed under Deep, Family, Marriage, Talking by . 8 Comments.
I'm over here today talking about love.
While you're there, say a quick congrats to Madeline… she is a brand new married woman, as of yesterday!
Filed under Blog Stuff, Marriage by . Comment.
Lets get something light and fluffy going on around here, shall we?
I'm shedding myself of the dark and allowing more of the light to shine through.
And what better way to step into the freshness of light than to do some 'window' shopping?
I'm digging this hair color. Though not necessarily for me, I think it's perfect for Spring!
I'd totally work this cut if my face could rock da bangs like that!
I like these Old Navy jeans, though I don't know how they'd make my body look.
And would wear this Old Navy shirt with them.
These etsy shop shoes would be adorable with the ensemble above, I think.
And because I'm a simple kind of gal, I'd wear something like this lovely 'The Vintage Pearl' necklace below. I'm sure I'd include my little sweetie's names on it.
Yeah, this 'window' shopping stuff I could get used to.
#####
The links are not sponsored, I didn't get anything to link to them. I just thought I'd be nice to my readers and link up to these goodies, in case you wanted to window shop too!
Filed under Fashion, Talking by . 11 Comments.
