Throw A Penny In The Wishing Well
I played 'Go Fish' a thousand times today. And let him win most of the time.
I let him run around in his underwear, because he wanted to.
He asked to play computer games, I was working… I got off the computer and put on his games.
He wanted to wrestle, snuggle, play catch…
We did it all.
But even still, I long to be a better Mother than I am.
- I wish I was more creative – and patient – and interested in being this kind of Mom.
- I wish I had more time to do fun things with each of my boys, one-on-one, like this Mom. Yes, she has one — and I have three — but I still wish.
- And to be able to pick up and take the boys to fun events, ring in the New Year in really cool ways, throw really amazing birthday parties (like I'm sure she does) and general cool Mom stuff like this Mom.
The other night, I sat on their bed, with one child on either side of me, and read three books. It was amazing and peaceful and beautiful and perfect.
They hung on each of my words like what I was saying was the most important words they'd ever hear.
An
d I floated somewhere above cloud nine, with each of their little bodies in my arms, purposefully engraving that moment into my heart and mind for later reference — down the road when they are too big to fit under my arm.
Truth be told, if they let me, they'll always have a spot under my arm.
No matter how many really good moments we have together, I still wish I could be the 'perfect' Mom I want to be for them.
I want them to look back on their childhood and only remember goodness.
To remember a Mom that wasn't just physically there, but emotionally there. A Mom that was really, honestly connected to them. And a Mom who not only took the time to be there with them, be there doing things and making memories, but a Mom who always made them feel special and safe and important.
Is it possible to raise children who grow up and only remember a good childhood? Who only had good memories?
It's my dream that this is possible.
And that I'm possibly making that happen for them.
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Comments on Throw A Penny In The Wishing Well
Oh, even today I was thinking I need to do some sort of new craft every day, but that seems so EXHAUSTING to me, and is not necessarily my love language. I'd rather snuggle and ask silly questions. There's so much more I could be doing… but I am so thankful for what am doing for now. It's something.
Steph
Adventures In Babywearing´s last blog ..How now.
I so know the feeling Nell! But we are who we are, and they will love us for it, because we try
They'll remember the good times, and the sweet moments and the funny ones. All the ones that matter.
Corinne´s last blog ..Unwrapping Tuesday Morning
None of us are perfect so I don't think we can create the perfect childhood. I so know how you feel though. I'm physically here every day and we homeschool but I feel like what I do is never enough or just like you I'm not creative enough or doing enough. I have to admit I have continual feelings of guilt anytime I'm at my computer working while the boys are playing on their own even if they need to play on their own. Something is wrong with me, right?
Amanda´s last blog ..Impasse
I think this almost every day. I want so bad to be the mom they need, in EVERY way. I don't know if it's possible but I'm with you, I'm gonna do my best to MAKE it possible.
Joyful Growing´s last blog ..I've got her up and running!
Gosh, I think we all feel exactly like this everyday! It's so easy to see all the room for improvement, but really all our kids need is us (as we are). You provide that with your whole heart, and that to me makes you a perfect mother.
P.S. Did I ever say thank you so very much for the sweet card you sent me? My brain is on overload, and I can't remember if I did that. So, if I didn't: You are so very sweet. Thank you for the congratulations! It meant a ton to me.
Madeline´s last blog ..Sweet Dreams
You have articulated exactly what I've been feeling lately – I want to be a mom who is not only physically there but who is also emotionally there for my children.
Blessed´s last blog ..Tuesday's Eats: Feeding My Babies, Part 2