I Choose
I've been through the ringer most of my adult life. Between mental illness in my family, what my brother did, my moms suicide attempt and her eating disorder you'd think I might have a hard time living in the now and loving life. For the sake of being completely honest I'll say there are days when I'm lost in my grief and I can't see past the pain, but most days I embrace a thankful attitude.
I've got so much to be thankful for. My oldest boy climbed out of the abyss and now thrives like any other normal child. My middle son didn't follow the same path my oldest was on. This is such a huge blessing to us. To actually have a child that speaks on his own, has no sensory issues, no social problems…it's a weight lifted from our shoulders that I don't think we could bare right now. And our baby – oh our baby. He is delightful, healthy, ahead of schedule and I know he's going to not only be healthy and smart but also kind and loving.
My husband is my rock, my strength, my soft place to land. He knows the depths of my soul, my pain, my joy and loves me despite it all and because of it all. I have no real worries in life little life with him because I know he'll do whatever he can to make sure we're taken care of. Oh, did I mention he is super adorable and funny, too? Well, he is. And that rocks.
My close relationship with Christ grows deeper every year and I long to be the daughter He has created me to be. My heart for others matures each passing day and I just know one day I'll serve Him in a mighty way. In the meantime I pray for friends, family and even strangers. I give money where and when I can. I offer a hug when it's needed, or even when it's not. I offer up my ear to listen and my heart to care.
Even with the pain. Even with the heart ache and despair. Despite it all, I'm still so grateful for my life and the people in it.
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Comments on I Choose
There is so much to be thankful for. The pain often makes it harder to see, but sometimes it's helpful to shine a big bright light on it all (if that makes any sense!)
I totally get where you are coming from. I'm glad you can still find happiness. I have too. I'm so glad you have your husband and your kids. That's what makes my life amazing as well.I've decided at this age that there is nothing more I can do for those around me. I can only be there if needed but I can't make people change.
I'd love to meet up with you someday. Maybe we will eventually get to one of those conferences?
You have learned some very important lessons, and you state them so well. I've gone through some pretty rotten things myself, and am in some ways even grateful for them…they've taught me that 99% of happiness is in the choosing and in your attitude. Despite what life throws your way you can choose to embrace God's blessings wherever you find them.
It sounds like you have a lot going for you, Nell.
And you are so strong. I just sense that about you. You are a courageous, free-spirited person {and I really admire you}.
Nell, you're such a beautiful example to women. Hang in there…you're going to make it!! Gratitude is the perfect medicine for getting through life's tough times. ♥
Everyone else has said it perfectly already. You are strong to have survived to much, and even stronger to recognize and soak up the blessings you have now!
What a great post Nell. It makes me really think about the great things in my life and what I am thankful for. God is all around us if we just open our eyes and look.