June 13, 2008
With A Heavy Heart
It is with a heavy heart that I’m considering leaving the OBGYN practice that has delivered both my boys. The doctors are wonderful. I’ve never had anything but good memories of the visits to their offices and their presence in the delivery room. I was looking forward to continuing with them this pregnancy and delivery also.
So why am I considering leaving their practice? There are two reasons for this.
The first:
They don’t allow a video camera while you’re delivering. This never bothered me before because we just took pictures during the entire labor and right after the delivery. And we could video tape the labor but just not as the baby was being born. But this time around I want to video tape the entire experience. And I don’t necessarily long for video taped footage of the baby actually coming out, but I do want the experience video taped.
I want to see my Mom as the baby is being born, my husband and myself…I want to see the excitement in the room and the baby being put on my chest. You just never know when it might be your last pregnancy, labor and delivery and I’d really like to capture it on video this time.
The second and equally important:
Only two people are allowed in the delivery room and no one under 12. This hasn’t bothered me in the past. I’m not a public person. I don’t want everyone in the room while I’m giving birth. I’m very private when it comes to that and breastfeeding. I’ve always had my Mom and my husband in the room and that was always just fine with me.
But this time my 4 year old has expressed such an interest in this pregnancy and new baby that I’d like for him to have the opportunity to be present if he’d like. He and I were watching “House of Babies” this morning, like we often do, and as the Mother labored in the tub and the baby slowly entered the world I asked him if he’d like to see his baby being born from Mommy. His eyes got wide and a smile spread across his face, YES, he exclaimed.
I do know this could change in the moment. He might get scared and want to leave. But I want to give him that opportunity incase he’d still like to see the baby being born when it comes time.
So you see, these are two pretty significant things to me this time around. What I hope is that I can have them allow these two things as an exception and will be approaching them on these two issues at my next appointment. If they won’t budge then I guess I’m off to find another set of doctors who will allow video taping and more than two people in the room.
What about you? Have you left your OBGYN because they wouldn’t allow something important to you?
Comments on With A Heavy Heart »
I haven't, but then again I've never had an issue like that one. Mine have always been very flexible when it's come to that kind of thing, so it really hasn't been a problem. I hope that they will work with you on those issues so that you don't have to change!
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I haven't but I've only been pregnant once. Things are different for me though because I have to have a c-section my next time around too so I can't have a video tape or camera present. I can't say that I understand what you are going through because I haven't been in that position but it does make sense as to why you are considering leaving this OBGYN's office. You need to go somewhere that will allow you the freedom to have those options available because like you said you never know when your last pregnancy could be.
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Wow Nell, big decision especially since you have history with them and really like them. A lot of the moms I know do home births for the reasons you mentioned - they want the kids around (if they want to be) and want the freedom to video or whatever… plus other things too I'm sure.
Have you talked to them about it at all? They're not flexible on either issue? Is it a hospital issue or a practice issue?
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My next appointment I'll be speaking with them. It's their issue and not the hosp. I don't think they want video tape of the birth incase something goes wrong (hence, they cause something to happen to the baby)…they don't want it on tape. The kid thing…I don't know about that. I would be drugged. If I were screaming in pain I wouldnt even consider it because I wouldnt want to upset him. I wouldn't even consider a home birth to be honest. I'm somewhat a natural and holistic Mom but not when it comes to delivery a baby at home
Definitely bring it to their attention and go with your heart. I wanted the videotaping as well but our hospital would not allow it. Now they did allow kids, but honestly Madisyn would have went in with me anyways. They wasn't going to stop me LOL.
Madisyn was 22 months so really not as old as Nicky but I still think he would do just fine. Madisyn was in there the entire time, now my labor only lasted 3 hours but still this was in the middle of the night and she did SUPER. She loved being able to hold her little sister right away. Pictures I will always hold close to my heart.
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Actually, I am planning to leave my OB when we get pregnant with #2. She was great, but some of the "policies" (including the two that you mentioned) just didn't make sense. And I really don't want to have to wait 24 hours to check out of the hospital after I give birth…
We're going to opt for a birth center experience next time…
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That is really odd. With my delivery, it was all about me - what I wanted ruled! I never even thought of a practice coming up with rules like that.
Let them know why you're considering changing - maybe if enough people make a fuss, they'll change (but then again, maybe not in time to make a difference for you).
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Just make sure it's not hospital policy and not just something at your Drs office. I think it's pretty standard now that hospitals don't allow video taping because of a fear of the tapes being used in malpractice suits.
Yes, I left my practice at 7 months pregnant. I wanted a low-intervetion, natural birth and they required many things that would have interfered with that…. including wanting to induce me at 39 weeks due to a mild case of gestational diabetes. I found another great OB that delivered at the same hospital and were willing to let me go up to 2 weeks over my due date if need be. They were on board with my birth plan and the Dr was wonderful. We were so glad we switched!
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That's a tough decision, Nell. But you have to go with your heart. Things might change at the last minute both about videotaping and having your son in the room with you but I completely understand about wanting those options open to you.
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